I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
