Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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