there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
