Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
