Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
it's like heaven, but drunker
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
