Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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