Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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