Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
