your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
