i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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