Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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