I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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