Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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