So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
