I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
