O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize