i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
