You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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