I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
