Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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