New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
