I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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