Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
