wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize