Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
