Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Vodka?
Forever.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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