I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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