Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
