I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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