last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
