FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
