Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
