Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
