You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize