Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
