Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Drake has all the answers
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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