Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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