"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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