Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is Oprah even human
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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