Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize