i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i think im in europe. pls send help
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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