So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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