i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
