"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize