My hair reeks of homosexuality.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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