get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
