you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
