Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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