Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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