is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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