watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
