My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
