Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
