so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
