I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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