this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
