Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
