I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
