I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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