Where is the hickey?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
