Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
