Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
