I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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