One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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