She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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