come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
