Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
