Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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