xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize